Pregnancy Update: I’m too sexy.

31 Aug

It took me three tries to log in. Three! That’s how long I’ve fallen out of the blogging habit for. In my defense, my sister was staying with us for a few weeks, and I didn’t particularly want to sit on the computer when I could be spending quality time with her. So, my dearest apologies, but family always comes first. In case you were wondering, we had a fantastic time. I discovered that not drinking around a bonfire is really, really, really hard. Back to school is in three days (!!!), and then I’ll be able to write more frequently. I’ll hopefully do a “looking-back-on-summer” photo dump as well.

On the subject of back to school, I don’t even know where T is attending school this year. Seriously. He was supposed to transfer to a school that’s better equipped for kids with special needs, but they haven’t contacted me. I reached out to them and am waiting for a response. It’s THREE DAYS UNTIL SCHOOL STARTS. Give me a break here. I’m stressed out enough, wondering if I bought the kids enough fucking glue sticks and the right kind of scissors.

Anyways, I’m supposed to be cleaning right now but I decided to break for a snack and blog update. Also because I’m frustrated that the “safe” cleaner I was using started taking the paint off my front door. Fuck. Now I have to repaint it. To stretch out my time not cleaning, here are some recent observations on my pregnancy:

Fuck heartburn. How does water give one heartburn? Please explain.

Fuck sciatica. I feel like a 90 year old man sometimes. I have to bend in half to walk. I need a cane.

Fuck insomnia. And on top of that, fuck there not being anything remotely good to watch when I’m stuck awake at 2AM.

Why have I grown five skin tags on my vag? The really weird part is, there are none on the left side. Just the right. Huh. Oh, there’s also one on my butt. HOT STUFF!

Never, ever, EVER rip off a skin tag. I pulled off a small one last night just to see what would happen. Oh my God. There was so much blood. And it didn’t stop bleeding for a good half hour. So don’t ever try that.

How come shaving my hoo-hah doesn’t cut them off?

I’m turning into a man. My pits get 5 o’clock shadow two freaking hours after I shave, and I’m growing a treasure trail. I’m so sexy. M thinks it’s hilarious and likes to make fun of me for it. We’ll see who’s laughing when I quit shaving and french braid my pit hair.

Speaking of hair, I thought the stuff on my head was supposed to stop falling out? It hasn’t. If anything, it’s falling out more. I’m going to be bald by the time I deliver. This kid better have a sweet head of hair to make up for all I’m losing.

How is my body building a mucus plug when half of it plops out into my undies every day? It’s like my vagina has a cold and routinely uses my panties as a kleenex, it’s disgusting. M made the mistake of looking over once while I wiped after peeing. That was the last time he did that.

*Pause to note I just saw a centipede run across my living room floor. Yuck. Goosebumps. I moved one piece of furniture. Proof that I should never attempt a deep cleaning. Ever.*

My nips are sooooo itchy. Nipples are really hard to scratch.

My boobs are not only leaking now, they are squirting. Well, the left one is squirting. Gets some pretty good distance on it too. M is now terrified of playing with my boobies. I kind of hope he forgets and gets squirted in the eye.

Lately pooping somewhat scares me. I’m afraid I’ll push too hard and my baby will plop into the toilet. I guess I’ve been watching too much “I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant”.

Why can’t I ever crave things at convenient times/places? For instance, why can’t I crave a snickers and a Dr. Pepper when I’m in the damn store, instead of at midnight when my only option is to walk my ass down to the corner store. Too damn far, and plus, it’s dark and scary outside.

This entry may cause you to believe I’m not enjoying my pregnancy. I totally am, I just feel totally disgusted but somehow amused by the freakshow that once was my body. Also, my early morning sleep farts can clear a room. Thought you might like to know.

Hope everyone enjoys their long weekend. We’re going camping. Hooray!

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After the rain…

7 Aug

After last weeks little meltdown, I think it’s time for a happier post. Nothing much has gone on lately, so we may just end up with a bunch of pointless rambling. I think that’s quite likely, actually.

M has been super sick lately. We think it’s a combination of a flu virus and inhalation of drywall dust. I say “we think” because as a man, of course he’s too stubborn to go to the doctor. Even though over the course of 3 days he got a total of maybe 5 hours sleep, threw up numerous times, and was just generally hurting and miserable and bedridden. Thankfully he brought home a proper mask to finish sanding T’s new room, and yesterday proclaimed he felt much better. We actually left the house! Hooray! It still sucks that our long weekend together was such a bummer though.

Speaking of weekends… Next weekend we’re heading down to Windsor to pick up my little sister! She’ll be staying with us for 2 weeks, so I most likely won’t be posting anything until the end of the month. I’m so excited to see her, because A) She’s my sister and my best friend, and B) I could use an extra pair of hands getting some stuff done around here. Yep, I’m putting her to work. She doesn’t know it yet, but she will! Muahahahahahahaha.

Jax is steadily getting more and more active. Or maybe just stronger, so I’m feeling more. Either way, at all times it’s feels like he’s running out of room, there’s always a head or a butt or a knee poking out. I can actually see his movements now which is cool, like waves going across my belly when he rolls around, and little pops when he punches or kicks. When M and I lay down together at night I think I spend more time watching my belly move than watching TV. TV shows come and go, this might be the last time I’m pregnant and I’m going to enjoy every damn second of it! My appetite is ridiculous lately, and my cravings will be the death of me. I wish just for once, I could crave a food that I actually have in the house. Instead of Burger King (across town), chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream (M had to go to 5 different grocery stores to find some. Yes, 5), or flippin’ lobster. OH, and speaking of cookie dough ice cream, and M searching all over town for it… The only brand he could find was President’s Choice, and there’s fucking coconut flakes in the dough chunks. Why? Who the hell thought coconut flakes have any place in chocolate chip cookie dough? It’s outrageous, and quite frankly, ruins the ice cream. It sucks, because I’ve been craving it for so long, and I finally have it, but I don’t even want to eat it now because of the stupid coconut. WHY?

I ordered the kids backpacks and lunch bags and school clothes from Old Navy today. Picked up a bunch of supplies at Staples’ awesome sale over the weekend too… Counting down the days… They’re starting to drive me bat shit crazy, they really are. Sometimes I wonder if it would be considered abuse if I duct taped their mouths shut, just for an hour. I guess it probably would though, so I soldier on. I cannot freakin’ wait to be able to do my yoga and pilates again. FREEEEEEEEEEEDOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMM! For a few months, anyway.

Until next time!

How am I going to do this?

3 Aug

I woke up in a really good mood this morning, in part because I woke up due to Jax kicking like mad, and also because today I am 20 weeks. B is gone to her aunts and isn’t due back from her until later on, so I figured I’d have a nice mommy/son day with T. We were supposed to spend the day at Marineland, but I don’t drive and my sister-in-law and her daughter never called before they went, like they were supposed to. A little upsetting because we haven’t gone yet this summer, but no big deal. I told T we would take a walk down to the park and go swimming for a few hours after he cleaned his room. With that I did a bit of tidying up, and went into the bathroom to shower and get ready.

I come out of the bathroom and his room is worse than before. I literally could only open his door maybe 2 inches. I asked him why he hadn’t cleaned his room and he said “I just don’t feel like it, so we won’t go to St. George”. Which ticked me off, and I basically said thats fine, but regardless, you have to get your room clean, or else you’re not gonna be doing much of anything today. It’s a house rule, no chores, no fun activities. The kids are normally very good with this rule. Anyways, he immediately freaks out. He screamed at me that he doesn’t want to do anything with me, he doesn’t care if we have fun together, he doesn’t like me. Then I started hearing banging, meaning that he’s completely lost it now and is throwing his toys around. I open his door and again and tell him to clear the toys from in front of it so he can get out, and sit for a time out until he’s calm again.

Now he’s sitting in the corner crying and saying that he hates me over and over and I’m sitting in my room crying because I don’t know what to do, and I’m so upset and so mad and I don’t want to take it out on him. All I wanted was to spend some quality one on one time with him and it just completely backfired on me, and now I don’t even want to leave my bed. I called and made an appt with his doctor earlier in the week to discuss different meds and treatment options but the appt isn’t until the 22nd. I’m terrified about what life is going to be like when the baby comes now, because he needs so much attention but yet the baby will too. I’m scared for him to go back to school and hurt someone because he just gets so mad and he can’t comprehend how to manage his anger, he just gets violent. I’m mad at his biological dad who I haven’t spoke to since before T was born (by his choice, not mine), because I don’t know anything about his medical history on that side and I have no way of knowing what else could rear it’s head down the road on top of the ADHD.

I just completely feel lost and alone and like giving up. How am I going to do this? Are things ever going to get better?

Bitchy McBitcherson.

30 Jul

I am one crabby preggo lately. Seriously, I am full blown snapping at the slightest thing. The kids have me tearing my hair out, because as much as I want to just ground them to their rooms all summer so that I don’t have to clean up their shit or break up arguments, that’s not fair, and so I suffer. Asshole strangers in stores are conspiring against me, blocking me from getting my munchables with their carts after making eye contact and seeing that I clearly want to grab that bag of cheetos there. And don’t get me started on people stopping by to visit without checking it’s OK first. I value my peace and quiet very much when I can get it. Don’t interrupt me.

Todays bitch? My neighbour/friend across the road is totally stepping on my toes when it comes to B. Calling her “the daughter she never had”, having her over to play but not bothering to get her back in time when she knows we have plans, undermining me when it comes to our family rules… I’m getting to the point where I don’t want B to go over there to play anymore, because this woman clearly thinks she runs her life. I’m sorry, but no. She is NOT your daughter, she is mine. If I say she has to wear a life jacket when we swim in the Quarry and not just use a pool noodle, she WILL wear that life jacket. Not to mention, if T goes over with B to play with my neighbours son (we’ll call him W), within half an hour T is sent home because W picks on him but knows how to hide it, and so T becomes the scapegoat for reacting. She always wants to take B places with her, but T is never included (poor little guy), and gets upset. I have to go and bring B home for dinner, because apparently neighbour thinks that she doesn’t need to eat and there have been nights where I’ve said “you know what, lets see if neighbour has any common sense and sends B home for dinner”… B wasn’t home until 9 and she was starved. Today, B has cheer practice. She went to play with W, neighbour knowing B had to be back after lunch to get ready… it is 2:10 right now, she’s being picked up at 3, and I just had to send for her because neighbour couldn’t be bothered sending her home. I am beyond furious, but quite frankly, all our neighbours are mega assholes, and we at least get along with these ones so I have to be delicate dealing with this and I’m just not sure how. UGH.

/Vent over. I apologize if that didn’t make much sense.

Is it Friday yet?

25 Jul

I have had such a crappy past few days. T’s ADHD is just getting progressivly more difficult for me to handle the bigger my belly gets. I think I’m going to have to set up an appointment with the doctor sooner rather than later.

Yesterday, we discovered that he is getting back into his old habit of stealing food from the kitchen. Since he gets up at the crack of dawn, he’s using the time before I wake up to go and help himself to whatever he pleases. I did a little research and was slightly comforted to find that this could very well be due to his ADHD, that a lot of ADHD kids use food as a way to comfort and calm themselves. At any rate, we can’t let it go on or he’s going to end up obese, and I’ll go broke trying to replace all the food he’s eating. So, we have resorted to locking the kitchen door until I wake up for the time being. This is not something I want to be doing forever though, so hopefully once I get T back in with a psychologist and back on his meds it will ease off. I was also told that green tea has a calming effect, so I may try that out after more research.

Yesterdays events already had me feeling like I wanted to scream/cry/beat up my pillows. Then today rolls around.

B and T went to the park down the road with some of B’s friends. I enjoy the peace and quiet, have a nice shower, get some cleaning done, and then B comes in the house and tells me there is a lady outside to see me. Uh oh. So I go to the door, and a very nice woman informs me that Tristan had CLIMBED ON TOP OF A FUCKING 2 STORY SLIDE ENCLOSURE AND GOT STUCK. They had to call park maintenance to get him down. I am so, so thankful that he didn’t fall, but even more so I am furious that he didn’t listen to my park safety rules. Needless to say, the kids are no longer allowed to make the trek to the park themselves, or I fear I may lose my mind and end up committed.

And for the rest of the day, I have been fighting back tears.
Sigh.
But, on a cheerful note, M just pulled in the driveway, so I’ll cut this short and post again tomorrow.

Ramblings.

23 Jul

First of all – OH. MY. GAWD! The crib I want is on sale on Amazon. The Stork Craft Monza II. It’s so pretty. Just need to talk M into taking the plunge and ordering it. We’re slowly amassing baby items (we have a highchair, a travel system, a diaper pail, and a jogging stroller), but nothing, and I mean NOTHING, makes me as excited as this crib does.

I want this crib!
See how pretty?

We had a yard sale over the weekend. We didn’t get rid of nearly half our stuff, but we did make $400, so I’ll take that. Hooray, Marineland passes! Unfortunately, the stupid race-ready go-kart M picked up for SIX HUNDRED FUCKING DOLLARS did not go. I told him not to buy it. I told him! He wanted to get T into racing it, but it’s too damn fast. And it cost SIX HUNDRED DOLLARS. Nor did the bumper car that he just showed up with one day sell. “Oh, it’ll sell so fast, don’t worry. It’s from Crystal Beach before it closed down, we’ll get like $200 for it!”… No, no we won’t. At least not so far. We’ve been offered $50 and we’ve had it for a good 2 months at least. And us women get flack for shopping? At least clothes and shoes are useful.

My pregnancy is still going well and will hopefully continue that way. I post in some pregnancy forums and a girl posted this morning about how she just lost her baby at 17 weeks along. I hate reading those kinds of posts. It’s so sad for the people who are actually living it, I can’t even begin to imagine their pain, and it just scares the hell out of me. There were no signs, nothing. She just went to her doctor and discovered her baby had gone. It breaks my heart to think about it.

On a happier pregnancy note, I think my boy has inherited his parents taste for spicy foods. I had a spicy taco over the weekend, and oh my goodness, the kicks I felt! They were so strong! Today as well, I had a spicy chicken Mr. Noodle, and before I was even finished it I could feel him flipping all over in there. I mean, that could be a sign that he hates it, but I’m just going to go with him having a genetic disposition for it. No heartburn for me either, hooray!

Something in this room smells like feet really bad. It’s not me, either. The kids aren’t home, and neither is M. I think it’s the air conditioner, which means I’m just going to have to suck it up and deal with it, because no way in hell am I turning it off and sweating my metaphorical balls off all afternoon. Screw that.

I guess I should get going, B has cheer today and I need to pack her snacks. Hopefully something interesting will happen this week so I can post something other than whatever pops into my head for a change. I really suck at this blogging thing. Until next time!

In the heat of summer.

17 Jul

It. Is. So. Hot.

I was never pregnant in the summer with T. I mean, I was, but I got pregnant at the end of July, and I didn’t even realize I was pregnant until the end of August. I don’t know how women that are due in the middle of summer do it. I’m not even halfway and I feel sweaty and lazy and sticky and exhausted. I feel like I weigh twice as much as I actually do, and I feel guilty because all I ever want to do is lay in front of the air conditioner. But, swimming is nice. So there’s that.

I had my second OB appointment yesterday. I weighed in at 132lbs, so I’ve gained half a pound since last week, and I’m up 12lbs total since the beginning of my pregnancy. All in the belly, oh yeah. My uterus is growing well, and the baby has a nice strong heartbeat. What the heartbeat is, exactly, I don’t know, because she didn’t give me a number. I’m kind of having doubts about not taking peoples suggestions and going with a midwife. My doctor is a lovely woman, she’s very friendly and efficient, but she is so rushed. My appointment yesterday was 50 minutes of waiting, and maybe 5 minutes with the doctor. I didn’t even get a chance to ask about the headaches I’ve been having, since she was out the door before I’d even finished wiping the doppler goo off my belly. When she came in the room initially she had to ask me how far along I am, and what the date of my last period was… even if I had the ultrasound and bloodwork she sent me for! I just wish it were a more personal experience. Today I feel really tired, and every time I stand up everything starts to go black and I have to lean against something to wait for it to pass. I’m also right by the A/C and I still feel hot. I’m not sure if I should be calling in, or if I should just relax. For now, I’m just going to take it easy, get plenty of fluids, and healthy snacks, and hopefully I’ll feel better in a while.

On the bright side, my anatomy scan is scheduled for next Friday, which just so happens to be M’s 40th birthday! It’s funny how that worked out, after my dating scan was on Fathers Day. Lucky duck!

Last Friday we made the trip to Dover on the Harley for Friday the 13th. It was pure insanity, a record breaking day for the event. On our ride in, we were behind an accident – thankfully nothing major, a guy on a chopper almost missed his turn, hit the brakes and tried to make it, but didn’t. He cut up his knee pretty badly, and had a minor puncture wound on the back of his leg, but otherwise he was OK. We actually ended up running into him later on in the day and hanging out with him and his friend. Dover was packed, it was hot (to illustrate how hot, a quick anecdote from the day – while sitting on a curb, my heeled riding boots actually sank into the asphalt. They made holes in the road), and difficult to manoever while pregnant. I had an alright time, nowhere near as much fun as I’ve had in the past. I’m not sure if I’d go again while pregnant. I did get the Sons of Anarchy shirt I wanted though! 🙂

The rest of the weekend and this week so far was pretty uneventful. Just some housework on Saturday, followed by a full day in bed Sunday, and a trip to the pool yesterday. Why I choose to walk the kids 10 minutes down the road to use the pool at the park when we could easily step into our backyard and use ours is beyond me. Exercise? I’ll go with that. I did have a laugh at my total biatch of a neighbor posing on the side of the pool like she’s hot stuff once she noticed I was there. She sort of resembles a shar-pei if you ask me. All droopy skin and wrinkles. Blegh.

I’m off again on Friday, so I’ll update then if anything interesting should happen, which I doubt. If not, I’ll have lots to blabber on about next week. We have a busy weekend coming up!

OH! On Sunday I scored a brand new Graco highchair for $30. Hooray for Kijiji!

Ciao for now!