Tag Archives: gross

TMJ and Two Week Visits.

17 Oct

I’m counting down the weeks in single digits now! Gulp. It’s so close. My OB-GYN visits are now every two weeks, and putting on any form of shoes that require being fastened in any way is damn near impossible. So is shaving. Funny story: I shaved “down there” last week before my appointment, and realized later that I missed a spot. A big spot. As in my whole vag was bald except for this one tuft of hair. I still haven’t bothered to fix it. My new rule is, I only shave the night before I see my doctor. That way, when she decides to go “Ok! Today we’re going to do your GBS test!”, I’m not like “Shit, my vagina resembles a jungle and I have man legs”. Sorry, M. You loved me enough to put a baby inside me, you must love me enough to not mind my legs scratching yours when you’re trying to sleep.

Other fun pregnancy related things I’ve noticed recently:

– My nipples are flaking. I’m not sure if they’re just really dry, or if it’s from leaking, but yeah. Flaky nips. Sexy!

– I have worse than normal gas, and it smells. Bad enough to make ME leave the room. Not cool.

– I’ve sprouted a few more skin tags. Still in the groin area. WHY??? (Note: I know this not because I can see them, that’s just ridiculous. I felt them while I was shaving last week.)

Aaaaand something that really sucks. My TMJ pain has been constant for a week and a half now. It used to bother me for a day and then disappear for a few weeks, but not anymore, apparently. I’m barely sleeping, I have to force myself to suffer through eating, and if I didn’t have to, I wouldn’t talk, ever. I’m trying to take as little tylenol as possible for it, but some days it’s hard. As I type, I’ve got a heating pad stuffed under my chin and around the side of my face so that I can actually swallow without wanting to die. I’ve found some stretching/jaw strengthening exercises that have been helping somewhat. On the chance that there are others reading this that suffer from TMJ pain, here are the exercises I’ve been doing (three times a day) and a few other tips I’ve found to make a difference. Please note, I am not a doctor, and these may not work for everyone.

Sleep on your back. This sucks when you’re pregnant, because you’re not supposed to sleep on your back. So I’ve been propping myself up so my upper back is on an incline, and sleeping like that. It takes me a lot longer to fall asleep, but I’m guessing it’s helping me to not clench my teeth together so much when I’m sleeping since I’m not waking up in excrutiating pain anymore.

Avoid crunchy, chewy, or otherwise tough foods. If unavoidable, cut into reeeeaaaaally small pieces, and chew slowly and gently. No huge sandwiches that require you to open your mouth really wide either! (Boo)

Moist heat is best for helping muscles to relax, but if you don’t want to sit around with hot, damp towels on your face, a heating pad does offer some relief as well. You can also try a flexible ice pack and see which one helps you more.

Always keep your teeth slightly separated. This has been hard for me. I am a habitual clencher. If you catch yourself clenching, relax. Stop what you’re doing for a moment, relax your jaw muscles, and when you go back to your task, pay attention to your teeth. Don’t let them touch! Placing your tongue softly behind your upper front teeth can help.

Maintain good posture. This is also tough for me, I don’t slouch with my shoulders so much but I have noticed that my head tilts down a lot, especially when on the computer.


I repeat these three times daily; morning, noon, and night. I find they are most effective when I apply heat for 20 minutes beforehand, to loosen everything up.

–  Neck rolls. Roll neck to the left, hold for 10. Roll back, hold for 10. Roll right, hold for 10. Roll forward, hold for 10. Repeat 5 times.

– Open your mouth slowly, and with hand turned sideways, insert 2 or 3 fingers. Do not let your bottom teeth touch your bottom finger, but rest your upper teeth on your top finger. Hold for 10, slowly close mouth. Repeat 5 times.

– With your hand flat against the side of your face (fingertips by ear, heel of palm on your chin), apply gently sideways pressure to your chin. Gently push back against your hand with your jaw, so that your chin is in proper alignment. Hold for 5. Repeat 5 times on each side.

– Without tilting your head up, jut your lower jaw forward as far as you can, hold for 10. Then, without tilting your head down, bring your jaw back in (basically, you should be giving yourself an extra chin), hold for 10. Repeat 5 times.

After I’ve done my exercises I usually rub some lotion or massage oil in my hands, and gently massage from beside my ears, down my jawline, and down my neck in long, smooth strokes.

I also like to massage my temples and just under my cheekbones slowly with a little pressure. Something that helps take the pressure away temporarily is to stick my finger just inside my ear, and push forward on that little flap, I don’t know what it’s called.

And now I pray, in hopes that this will all be a thing of the past once Jaxson has arrived. If not, I don’t know what I’ll do. Go crazy? It’s likely.






Pregnancy Update: I’m too sexy.

31 Aug

It took me three tries to log in. Three! That’s how long I’ve fallen out of the blogging habit for. In my defense, my sister was staying with us for a few weeks, and I didn’t particularly want to sit on the computer when I could be spending quality time with her. So, my dearest apologies, but family always comes first. In case you were wondering, we had a fantastic time. I discovered that not drinking around a bonfire is really, really, really hard. Back to school is in three days (!!!), and then I’ll be able to write more frequently. I’ll hopefully do a “looking-back-on-summer” photo dump as well.

On the subject of back to school, I don’t even know where T is attending school this year. Seriously. He was supposed to transfer to a school that’s better equipped for kids with special needs, but they haven’t contacted me. I reached out to them and am waiting for a response. It’s THREE DAYS UNTIL SCHOOL STARTS. Give me a break here. I’m stressed out enough, wondering if I bought the kids enough fucking glue sticks and the right kind of scissors.

Anyways, I’m supposed to be cleaning right now but I decided to break for a snack and blog update. Also because I’m frustrated that the “safe” cleaner I was using started taking the paint off my front door. Fuck. Now I have to repaint it. To stretch out my time not cleaning, here are some recent observations on my pregnancy:

Fuck heartburn. How does water give one heartburn? Please explain.

Fuck sciatica. I feel like a 90 year old man sometimes. I have to bend in half to walk. I need a cane.

Fuck insomnia. And on top of that, fuck there not being anything remotely good to watch when I’m stuck awake at 2AM.

Why have I grown five skin tags on my vag? The really weird part is, there are none on the left side. Just the right. Huh. Oh, there’s also one on my butt. HOT STUFF!

Never, ever, EVER rip off a skin tag. I pulled off a small one last night just to see what would happen. Oh my God. There was so much blood. And it didn’t stop bleeding for a good half hour. So don’t ever try that.

How come shaving my hoo-hah doesn’t cut them off?

I’m turning into a man. My pits get 5 o’clock shadow two freaking hours after I shave, and I’m growing a treasure trail. I’m so sexy. M thinks it’s hilarious and likes to make fun of me for it. We’ll see who’s laughing when I quit shaving and french braid my pit hair.

Speaking of hair, I thought the stuff on my head was supposed to stop falling out? It hasn’t. If anything, it’s falling out more. I’m going to be bald by the time I deliver. This kid better have a sweet head of hair to make up for all I’m losing.

How is my body building a mucus plug when half of it plops out into my undies every day? It’s like my vagina has a cold and routinely uses my panties as a kleenex, it’s disgusting. M made the mistake of looking over once while I wiped after peeing. That was the last time he did that.

*Pause to note I just saw a centipede run across my living room floor. Yuck. Goosebumps. I moved one piece of furniture. Proof that I should never attempt a deep cleaning. Ever.*

My nips are sooooo itchy. Nipples are really hard to scratch.

My boobs are not only leaking now, they are squirting. Well, the left one is squirting. Gets some pretty good distance on it too. M is now terrified of playing with my boobies. I kind of hope he forgets and gets squirted in the eye.

Lately pooping somewhat scares me. I’m afraid I’ll push too hard and my baby will plop into the toilet. I guess I’ve been watching too much “I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant”.

Why can’t I ever crave things at convenient times/places? For instance, why can’t I crave a snickers and a Dr. Pepper when I’m in the damn store, instead of at midnight when my only option is to walk my ass down to the corner store. Too damn far, and plus, it’s dark and scary outside.

This entry may cause you to believe I’m not enjoying my pregnancy. I totally am, I just feel totally disgusted but somehow amused by the freakshow that once was my body. Also, my early morning sleep farts can clear a room. Thought you might like to know.

Hope everyone enjoys their long weekend. We’re going camping. Hooray!

In the heat of summer.

17 Jul

It. Is. So. Hot.

I was never pregnant in the summer with T. I mean, I was, but I got pregnant at the end of July, and I didn’t even realize I was pregnant until the end of August. I don’t know how women that are due in the middle of summer do it. I’m not even halfway and I feel sweaty and lazy and sticky and exhausted. I feel like I weigh twice as much as I actually do, and I feel guilty because all I ever want to do is lay in front of the air conditioner. But, swimming is nice. So there’s that.

I had my second OB appointment yesterday. I weighed in at 132lbs, so I’ve gained half a pound since last week, and I’m up 12lbs total since the beginning of my pregnancy. All in the belly, oh yeah. My uterus is growing well, and the baby has a nice strong heartbeat. What the heartbeat is, exactly, I don’t know, because she didn’t give me a number. I’m kind of having doubts about not taking peoples suggestions and going with a midwife. My doctor is a lovely woman, she’s very friendly and efficient, but she is so rushed. My appointment yesterday was 50 minutes of waiting, and maybe 5 minutes with the doctor. I didn’t even get a chance to ask about the headaches I’ve been having, since she was out the door before I’d even finished wiping the doppler goo off my belly. When she came in the room initially she had to ask me how far along I am, and what the date of my last period was… even if I had the ultrasound and bloodwork she sent me for! I just wish it were a more personal experience. Today I feel really tired, and every time I stand up everything starts to go black and I have to lean against something to wait for it to pass. I’m also right by the A/C and I still feel hot. I’m not sure if I should be calling in, or if I should just relax. For now, I’m just going to take it easy, get plenty of fluids, and healthy snacks, and hopefully I’ll feel better in a while.

On the bright side, my anatomy scan is scheduled for next Friday, which just so happens to be M’s 40th birthday! It’s funny how that worked out, after my dating scan was on Fathers Day. Lucky duck!

Last Friday we made the trip to Dover on the Harley for Friday the 13th. It was pure insanity, a record breaking day for the event. On our ride in, we were behind an accident – thankfully nothing major, a guy on a chopper almost missed his turn, hit the brakes and tried to make it, but didn’t. He cut up his knee pretty badly, and had a minor puncture wound on the back of his leg, but otherwise he was OK. We actually ended up running into him later on in the day and hanging out with him and his friend. Dover was packed, it was hot (to illustrate how hot, a quick anecdote from the day – while sitting on a curb, my heeled riding boots actually sank into the asphalt. They made holes in the road), and difficult to manoever while pregnant. I had an alright time, nowhere near as much fun as I’ve had in the past. I’m not sure if I’d go again while pregnant. I did get the Sons of Anarchy shirt I wanted though! 🙂

The rest of the weekend and this week so far was pretty uneventful. Just some housework on Saturday, followed by a full day in bed Sunday, and a trip to the pool yesterday. Why I choose to walk the kids 10 minutes down the road to use the pool at the park when we could easily step into our backyard and use ours is beyond me. Exercise? I’ll go with that. I did have a laugh at my total biatch of a neighbor posing on the side of the pool like she’s hot stuff once she noticed I was there. She sort of resembles a shar-pei if you ask me. All droopy skin and wrinkles. Blegh.

I’m off again on Friday, so I’ll update then if anything interesting should happen, which I doubt. If not, I’ll have lots to blabber on about next week. We have a busy weekend coming up!

OH! On Sunday I scored a brand new Graco highchair for $30. Hooray for Kijiji!

Ciao for now!